Raziel, AKA Osias Wolfe (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thefirstfallen) wrote2011-03-31 11:02 am
thefirstfallen) wrote2011-03-31 11:02 am
(no subject)
So Raziel was summoned to God's throne. In the host, there had been talk about Raziel's disapproval of loving humankind as he did his creator, rumors that concerned him and made him feel as if he'd gone against his brothers. But he tried not to focus on that as he approached the veil. Deep within himself, he could hear the voice of his Father, his creator, and it filled him with love and joy to hear it so warm and accepting after his deep desire to go against what was wished of him.
Raziel, you must understand that it is imperative that you love humankind as you love Me.
Raziel faced the veil and looked up at it, and shook his head. "I cannot. I love You alone in that capacity. I am capable of caring for them, but they are slow, they are quick to age and perish. I cannot teach them all that they need to know so quickly," he paused, and then added, "and it is hard to teach them what they need to know if I do not know the whole truth. There is more to the world than I had ever been graced with knowing. I wish to know everything I can before I can feel right in teaching them. It would seem unfair to them to be taught that we are alone in our endeavors to guide them, when I know that's not the case."
Stand, Raziel, and step forward. Come behind the veil.
Raziel, for all his knowledge, had never heard of any of his brothers being beckoned to see God face-to-face. He was frightened. It truly was an honor, he knew, that beyond the curtain that separated the kingdom of Heaven from the face of God, there was something else. He'd long believed that whatever was behind it was not as he had thought. He braced himself mentally as he stood from his kneeling position at the curtain, unsure of what he was about to encounter, as he slipped his fingers through the ephemeral energy which encircled a great area where the throne presumably was, and slipped through.
He did not see a throne, nor the face of a being older than time. He found himself deep within the expanses of space, but not just within it, a part of it. He could see the light of all the stars and galaxies, he could feel their scorching heat as if he were so close to them that they burned, yet he could simultaneously feel the chill and isolation of the deep reaches of deep space. He could feel the weightlessness of it, yet the immense pressure of gravity as it held him deep under its force. Raziel was made aware of the great and infinite, ever-expanding reaches of the eternal reality, as well as the infinitesimal molecules that made up everything around him. He could see the energy given off by the subatomic particles that made up every single part of the universe, including himself, and all that he knew, all his brothers, all the humans, the gods and goddesses that walked the earth, the plants, the animals, and every natural element he had ever known. He could see the way that they all were connected - it was this energy which held things together, that made them a part of each other, and in turn, a part of something far greater than he could ever have imagined.
God was not a being, not a Father or a life force which created him and all that he knew. God was not a tangible being with a face. God was -- is everything. From the molecule and the energy it produced when rubbing against another, to the largest star in the farthest reaches of space. From the most insignificant grain of sand, to the people who tread over it, God was. And so was God Raziel, and his brothers, and the humans that walked Eden. God was.
Raziel could not comprehend it, could not fathom the infinite as it was shown to him beyond the veil, and the ability to experience it all, all of time within a moment, all of space within the blink of an eye, something within him felt self-preservation in the light of revelation was necessary, and it struck out one of his senses. He stumbled backwards through the veil once more, dumbfounded, bewildered, and altogether disbelieving.
God was not a being. God was all beings. And he could not grasp it. "I cannot do as you ask," was all he could manage to say as he felt himself stumbling farther from God's throne. "I truly feel this way. It is how... It is that way, and I cannot... I cannot do this!"
He felt himself making the descent to Earth, needing something tangible to cling to, but he made it too quickly, fell too fast. He felt himself denying all that he had just experienced, and could not see as he dropped into Eden, harrowed and weakened, utterly exhausted by the revelation. The same part of his being that struck him blind in the instant of seeing the whole of reality had told him that he'd not be able to return. If he did, he would have to explain what he saw, and he knew that he couldn't. He would be further shunned by his brothers. So it was his lot to be Fallen. To be bound to the earth for eternity.
Raziel, you must understand that it is imperative that you love humankind as you love Me.
Raziel faced the veil and looked up at it, and shook his head. "I cannot. I love You alone in that capacity. I am capable of caring for them, but they are slow, they are quick to age and perish. I cannot teach them all that they need to know so quickly," he paused, and then added, "and it is hard to teach them what they need to know if I do not know the whole truth. There is more to the world than I had ever been graced with knowing. I wish to know everything I can before I can feel right in teaching them. It would seem unfair to them to be taught that we are alone in our endeavors to guide them, when I know that's not the case."
Stand, Raziel, and step forward. Come behind the veil.
Raziel, for all his knowledge, had never heard of any of his brothers being beckoned to see God face-to-face. He was frightened. It truly was an honor, he knew, that beyond the curtain that separated the kingdom of Heaven from the face of God, there was something else. He'd long believed that whatever was behind it was not as he had thought. He braced himself mentally as he stood from his kneeling position at the curtain, unsure of what he was about to encounter, as he slipped his fingers through the ephemeral energy which encircled a great area where the throne presumably was, and slipped through.
He did not see a throne, nor the face of a being older than time. He found himself deep within the expanses of space, but not just within it, a part of it. He could see the light of all the stars and galaxies, he could feel their scorching heat as if he were so close to them that they burned, yet he could simultaneously feel the chill and isolation of the deep reaches of deep space. He could feel the weightlessness of it, yet the immense pressure of gravity as it held him deep under its force. Raziel was made aware of the great and infinite, ever-expanding reaches of the eternal reality, as well as the infinitesimal molecules that made up everything around him. He could see the energy given off by the subatomic particles that made up every single part of the universe, including himself, and all that he knew, all his brothers, all the humans, the gods and goddesses that walked the earth, the plants, the animals, and every natural element he had ever known. He could see the way that they all were connected - it was this energy which held things together, that made them a part of each other, and in turn, a part of something far greater than he could ever have imagined.
God was not a being, not a Father or a life force which created him and all that he knew. God was not a tangible being with a face. God was -- is everything. From the molecule and the energy it produced when rubbing against another, to the largest star in the farthest reaches of space. From the most insignificant grain of sand, to the people who tread over it, God was. And so was God Raziel, and his brothers, and the humans that walked Eden. God was.
Raziel could not comprehend it, could not fathom the infinite as it was shown to him beyond the veil, and the ability to experience it all, all of time within a moment, all of space within the blink of an eye, something within him felt self-preservation in the light of revelation was necessary, and it struck out one of his senses. He stumbled backwards through the veil once more, dumbfounded, bewildered, and altogether disbelieving.
God was not a being. God was all beings. And he could not grasp it. "I cannot do as you ask," was all he could manage to say as he felt himself stumbling farther from God's throne. "I truly feel this way. It is how... It is that way, and I cannot... I cannot do this!"
He felt himself making the descent to Earth, needing something tangible to cling to, but he made it too quickly, fell too fast. He felt himself denying all that he had just experienced, and could not see as he dropped into Eden, harrowed and weakened, utterly exhausted by the revelation. The same part of his being that struck him blind in the instant of seeing the whole of reality had told him that he'd not be able to return. If he did, he would have to explain what he saw, and he knew that he couldn't. He would be further shunned by his brothers. So it was his lot to be Fallen. To be bound to the earth for eternity.